Veganyumyums

Lolo is a goddess. Seriously, if I were into marriage, and the lovely lady hadn't recently got married herself, I would marry her. Well, if she'd have me, that is.

Anyway, insanely lucky little bugger that I am, I've been granted access to her secret test kitchen. Woohoo! So I get to make all the amazing dishes she's planning for her cookzine, BEFORE THE REST OF THE WORLD. HAR HAR.

It's like getting a preview of an orgasm, and THEN having the orgasm itself. WOW.

So it's time I stopped letting my hormones write this blog. Pictures.

SOOOOOUP

All I'll give away is that #1) yes, those are cranberries and #2) yes, it was yummy.

DUMPLINGS

Most of the testers produced perfect-looking dumplings with a yummy brown filling. But because I'm me and can't do anything the normal way, mine were bright purple, due to an ingredient sub (so no, it's not the contrast on your monitor or those 'interesting pills' you took earlier.....).

Also, because Aylesbury is utter SHITE in terms of getting any ingredient which is slightly unusual, I could not procure dumpling skins anywhere. Not in any supermarket, not in the health food shop and not even in the fucking Asian shop. What's a girl to do? Make her own dumpling skins, that's what. Cheers to Ken Hom and his Vegetable And Pasta Book for the recipe.

Anyway, the dumplings and the sauce were fucking AMAZING. So so good. I got somewhat emotional in giving Lolo feedback on how good they were. And I'm not alone in this feeling. All the testers have reported back with similar praise. These babies will be a BIIIIIG hit when the 'zine is released.

SEITAN & BLACK BEAN CHILLI

Not a secret recipe, so here's the link. I replaced the chipotle sausage with Lachesis's Seitan O'Greatness because, as I already mentioned, Aylesbury is pathetic, and I couldn't get vegan chipotle sausages. But Lachesis's magic log is divine, and worked perfectly in this chilli.

The log:

The dish:

Round Stuff With Holes

Another 'themed' backlogged post.

BAGELS

Recipe from The Fresh Loaf



I had a weird-looking relative of the pumpkin sitting around waiting to be used...

So I scooped out the bugger and stewed its innards...


and ended up with a pumpkin polenta stuffed bagel served with beanz n greenz.

DO(UGH)NUTS

My music centre held a bake sale to fund our trip to Dublin next year :o)
My contributions were my signature 'A Bit More Than Chocolate Biscuits' chocolate biscuits (with ginger + candied orange peel. oh, and funexciting piped icing decorations) and VEGAN DO(UGH)NUTS, courtesy of lolo @ veganyumyum.

The first batch failed hideously - no reflection on lolo's recipe; it was only coz I had no doughnut pan. I tried pinching Kelly's trick of using foil rolls in the centre, but it did not work. When I tried to remove the rolls, the doughnuts collapsed pathetically. And they were weird-lookin' anyway. After my first attempt, I was left with sad, misshapen piles of cake crumbs. The majority of said failed batch was soon working its way down my digestive system (and yes, I did then feel very sick. Thanks for asking).

Was this a Mission: Impossible? NAY! I was determined that I wouldn't be beaten by hideously failed + aesthetically offensive doughnut wannabes and a lack of specialist bakeware. I battled on in my quest for the sweet, soft ring of justice.

I realised that since I had nothing ready doughnut-shaped, I'd have to shape the buggers myself. For the second batch, I halved the wet ingredients but kept the dry quantities the same, so the texture was more like a very sticky bread dough. I knew that if I tried to ring-ify them before baking they'd puff up and basically look crap and swollen. So I just shaped 'em in to balls and patted 'em down in a really shallow-ly dipped tray (which I think was designed for Yorkshire puds - who knows? - but way too shallow for cupcakes. More dimples than cups. Anyway......)

Also, having learned from previous baking mistakes, I was aware that the reason my baked goods so often catastrophically fell apart when I played about with 'em was that I didn't let them cool, and that whilst warm they were still fragile and therefore prone to being royally fucked up by yours truly. So this time, when my (thankfully) ok-looking dough-balls came outta the oven, I let them cool. Properly.

I had toyed with the idea of filling them with jam, using some kind of placcy bag/skinny straw contraption, but given my history with piping/pastry bags, I realised this would not have been wise. I've come to terms with the fact that I will never master frosting or anything that involves squeezing goo from a bag through a hole. It's a part of life that I've accepted.

So, having discarded the idea of filled doughnuts, I decided they would indeed be holey and glazed, à la lolo's original recipe. For the holes? Simple. I gently made an initial hole with the handle of a spoon, taking care not to crack 'em. And then to properly shape it, I shoved my finger through in a totally non-gentle way and twizzled the donut around the invading digit until a satisfactory shape had been achieved. Oh yeah, I violated those doughnuts gooooooooood.

And for the glaze/sprinkles, I followed lolo's instructions to the letter, dipping 'em in the appropriate quantities of goo + sprinkles.

And VOILA! I had achieved the holy grail: I had edible, self-supporting and aesthetically pleasing vegan doughnuts. Cue much smugness and a desire to eat them all.


(I ate half.)